Metric Conversions: 

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
 10 cards = 1 decacards
 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
 10 rations = 1 decoration
 100 rations = 1 C-ration
 10 millipedes = 1 centipede
 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
 2 monograms = 1 diagram
 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
 2 wharves = 1 paradox

New Micro$oft Messages:

1. Enter any 11-digit number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Press any key except... no,No,NO, NOT THAT ONE!
4. Bad command or file name!  Go stand in the corner.
5. This will end your Windows sesssion.  Do you want to play another game?
6. Windows message: "Error saving file!  Format drive now  ( y/y ) "
7. This is a message from God Gates: " Rebooting the world.Please log off"
8. BREAKFAST.SYS  halted....Cereal port not responding.
9. To shut down your system, type " WIN".
10. COFFEE.SYS missing... insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
11. File not found.  Should I fake it? ( Y/N  )
12.Runtime error 6D at417A:32CF: Incompetant user.
13.Error reading FAT record:  Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N )
14.WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found.  Use backup.  ( Pencil & Paper )
15. User Error:  Replace User.
16. Windows Virus Scan 1.0-  " Windows found: Remove (Y/Y)
17. Your Hard Drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have
been deleted.  The police are on the way.